GIANT CHILD

I had to go to the doctor yesterday, and AJ decided that he should weigh and measure Dylan. I have long suspected that we grow giant children. My first clue was his dainty size at birth of 9 pounds and 14 ounces. Myabe it was the 14 3/4 inch head. It frightens me to think about it. To us, having a giant child seems as normal as having an ordinary sized child. Lately, Dylan wants to be carried a lot. I am starting to get to point that I cannot hold him for very long, and plus it seems weird to be carrying a child whose feet hit your legs right above the knee when he is being held.

Lo and behold, our giant child is 3 1/2 feet tall and weighs a hefty 41 pounds at 3 1/2 years old. Yikes! No wonder I have low back pain.

AJ and I have devised a plan to slow down his growth. We are going to start with copious amounts of caffeine, but only in the mornings and on the days he goes to preschool. If the exponential growth still continues, we will add in cigarettes, but only those brands made with unadulterated tobacco. If all these efforts fail, we may have to consider the hard stuff.